The term “Ozzie & Harriet” has become so firmly lodged in the American lexicon that it is generally used to describe a wholesome, too-good-to-be-true married couple. So it only makes sense that the term “Bickersons” is often applied to a constantly quarreling married twosome—not too shabby, when you consider the fact that the famous husband-and-wife pair is still remembered fondly by fans today even though they had a relatively short run during the Golden Age of Radio.
John and Blanche Bickerson were created by comedy writer Phil Rapp (who also had a hand in the evolution of Fanny Brice’s altar ego, Baby Snooks), inspired by his own real-life squabbling with his wife Mary. As Rapp’s son Joel relates in Gerald Nachman’s Raised on Radio: “I’ve hidden under a lot of tables in my day…my father would scurry off to the typewriter while the dialogue was still fresh.” Rapp conceived Mr. and Mrs. B as a remedy for the sweetness and light generated by other spousal happily-ever-afters like the aforementioned Nelsons, and later, Jim and Margaret Anderson of Father Knows Best.
Most OTR reference books trace the origins of "The Bickersons" to The Charlie McCarthy Show, where it was allegedly performed as a series of sketches during the 1945-46 season. Ben Ohmart, who has edited a wonderful collection of Bickersons scripts, disputes this, noting that the earliest evidence of John and Blanche’s first appearance is dated December 15, 1946 on Drene Time, a half-hour NBC comedy-variety series from 1946-47. (John Dunning’s On the Air gives the program a start date of September 8, 1946—but while listening to a February 9, 1947 broadcast last night, I heard announcer Toby Reed state that this particular program was the ninth show in the series, which would make Ohmart’s date much more accurate.) The star of Drene Time, actor-singer-m.c. Don Ameche, essayed the role of John while female vocalist Frances Langford played Blanche.
The "Bickersons" sketches always adhered to a simple formula: John, who suffers from a crippling case of “insomnia,” keeps Blanche awake with his snoring—so Blanche returns the favor by keeping him awake with her incessant nagging and chattering. The writing was sharp and funny (Blanche: “Before you married me, you told me you were well off…” John: “I was, but I didn’t know it…”), and paved the way for later television couples like Ralph and Alice Kramden and Al and Peg Bundy. Though the sketches usually eschewed the happy endings prevalent on The Honeymooners (“Baby…you’re the greatest.”), deep down listeners knew that the couple really did love one another, and their verbal donnybrooks were just a way of letting off steam.
Drene Time also featured the music of Carmen Dragon and the comedy of young Danny Thomas, who frequently participated in the "Bickersons" skits as Blanche’s ne’er-do-well brother Amos. (Amos affectionately referred to John as “Jocko,” and John would often advise his brother-in-law to “drop dead.”) I got the opportunity to listen to two Drene Time broadcasts last night at work, and I was very impressed not only with the comedy, but the music as well; Thomas gets the opportunity to showcase his musical side as well as his comedic talents, qualities that he would bring forth later on television as the star of Make Room For Daddy. Langford is nothing short of sensational, possessing not only a marvelous voice but impeccable comedy timing as well. My friend Maureen has observed similarities between Francis and Judy Garland, and after hearing her sing numbers like “It’s a Good Day” and “The Best Things in Life are Free,” she’s made a convert out of me, too. Langford was for many years the female vocalist on Bob Hope’s program, and often journeyed with Hope on his many WW2 trips, receiving most appreciative applause at every military camp and hospital on their itinerary. (Not to slight Ms. Langford, you understand, but I think with the males in that audience even Cass Daley would have got a few wolf-whistles.)
First, from February 9, 1947: the show continues a “running gag” in which Thomas, suffering from mike fright, spends the first half of the show in an NBC broom closet—while on stage, Ameche and Dragon chat with an interior decorator played by Gale Gordon. The "Bickersons" skit finds Blanche “loaning” John’s new tuxedo to brother Amos—much to John’s dismay, the office money ($100) for his boss’ anniversary gift is in the breast pocket. The second broadcast from March 2, 1947 is equally amusing—especially when announcer Toby Reed prematurely announces the beginning of the "Bickersons" sketch, forgetting that Frances Langford has another number to sing. There’s also this priceless exchange, as Blanche is upset about a business trip on which John is about to embark:
BLANCHE: A lot you care what happens to me…every time Gloria gets a headache, Leo hugs and kisses her and fawns over her…why don’t you do that?
JOHN: I’m never there when she has a headache…
BLANCHE: I mean, why don’t you fuss over me?
JOHN: Now listen, Blanche…you’re not sick and you know it…
BLANCHE: Well, I’m depressed…you’re going out of town tomorrow and I’ll be so lonesome I’ll die…
JOHN: I’m only going overnight, I’ll be back on Tuesday…
BLANCHE: If you cared for me, you wouldn’t leave me…
JOHN: I’m not leaving you! I have to go on business and I won’t be gone over twenty-four hours!
BLANCHE: Suppose a burglar breaks into the house and finds me?
JOHN: It’ll serve him right…now let me sleep, please, Blanche…I have to make an early train…
BLANCHE: We’ve never been separated before…I’m afraid absence will conquer your love…
JOHN: Oh no…the longer I’m away from you, the better I like you…
After the cancellation of Drene Time, Don Ameche and Francis Langford continued on in the fall of 1947 with The Old Gold Show (also known as The Don Ameche Show) on CBS Radio. Carmen Dragon followed the two of them to this new program, and the three of them were joined by announcer Marvin Miller and MGM comic actor Frank Morgan. (Morgan and Phil Rapp were certainly well-acquainted with one another, having both worked on the Good News and Maxwell House Coffee Time programs.) In The Bickersons Scripts, Ben Ohmart has assembled about half-a-dozen scripts from this series, and it’s sad that the show lasted only a brief season—sadder still that to the best of my knowledge, the only excerpts that have survived today are the portions featuring the Bickersons. I think the Morgan/Ameche encounters are riotously funny, very similar to the routines that Ameche performed with W.C. Fields in the early Chase & Sanborn Hour shows. (Ohmart also observes that Rapp never featured Morgan in any of the "Bickersons" skits, and more’s the pity—he would have made a perfect relative for Blanche in the tradition of The Life of Riley’s Uncle Baxter.)
In the fall of 1948, "The Bickersons" became a recurring sketch on Edgar Bergen’s show, with actress Marsha Hunt replacing Francis as Blanche. It was the summer of 1951 that saw The Bickersons become a full-fledged half-hour series (on CBS for Phillip Morris); Langford had returned to the fold but Ameche had been replaced by Lew Parker. I also listened to a June 10, 1951 Bickersons (“The Gooseby Vacation”) last night to see what the Parker-Langford teaming was like, and there’s no doubt about it: the sketches simply do not work without the full participation of both Don and Francis, plus the Drene Time broadcasts are far superior, since the concept of the squabbling couple seems to work better in sketches rather than an entire program. An earlier attempt to do The Bickersons as a full half-hour sitcom failed, although the December 13, 1947 audition is in circulation. The "Bickersons" appeared briefly on television as a sketch on a 1950 series called Star Time, but it wasn't until Ameche and Langford re-teamed in 1962 for a pair of successful million-selling comedy albums (The Bickersons and The Bickersons Fight Back) released by Columbia
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