Thursday, November 6, 2003

Dum de dum dum

I mentioned in an earlier post about listening to the September 17, 1949 broadcast of Dragnet, an episode with no official title but labeled on the CD as "James Vickers." (This is the episode in where Harry Morgan flexes his thespic muscles and plays two roles.) Friday and Romero are investigating the murder of a policeman and are attempting to discover the identity of the murderer's two accomplices. One of the men they know for certain is a felon named Raymond Knight, and they manage to locate the hotel in which he's staying (this is where Harry comes in). During the hotel visit, they bring in an accomplice of Knight's, a man named Frank Gannon, who swears he doesn't know anything about Vickers or Knight. But Joe and Ben are not easily fooled, and they escort him downtown--they have Mr. Gannon in the interrogation room, and result to a little chicanery to get him to talk, as witnessed in this great scene:

(SFX: phone ringing, pick up)
FRIDAY: Interrogation room, Friday...
DAVE: Joe, on stakeout at the Silver Dollar Hotel--no sign of Raymond Knight...keep you posted...
FRIDAY: Okay, Dave, thanks...
(SFX: Phone hang-up)
GANNON: How long does this go on? I can call a lawyer, you know...
FRIDAY: Then you better call one right away, Gannon...they just picked up Knight at the hotel, he's incriminated you...
GANNON (accusingly): You're a liar!
ROMERO: Sure...like we were about Vickers...
FRIDAY: We'll prove it to you, Gannon...the officers are on their way in now...they're going to put Knight in the next room, you can listen to him...
GANNON: Look, I came in here to sell watches...I ain't in this!
FRIDAY: Gannon, you and Knight and Vickers were planning a job, a big one...we know that...if you want to wait until you get on the witness stand to tell your story, that's all right with us...
ROMERO: Well...didn't take too long to break this one...smoke, Joe?
FRIDAY: Yeah...thanks...
ROMERO: Gannon? Smoke? Hmm...?
(Silence from Gannon, then)
GANNON: What are you gonna do?
FRIDAY: Nothing...just kill a little time till they bring in Knight...
GANNON (angrily) You haven't got Knight!
(SFX: plastic unwrapping)
ROMERO: I haven't unwrapped them yet, Joe...you wanna check me out?
FRIDAY: Okay, open 'em up...(SFX: deck of cards being unwrapped and opened) give 'em a good shuffle, huh...? (SFX: shuffling of cards) You're gonna have some time on your hands, Gannon...want to learn a new card game?
GANNON: Nah...
FRIDAY: Suit yourself...it's a good game for two...better with three...
ROMERO: Sure are a lot of cards...
FRIDAY: Yeah...you got two decks there...well, first off, this game is quite a bit like gin rummy...
ROMERO: Yeah...?
FRIDAY: There are eight of every suit...four jokers...jokers count fifty points.
ROMERO: Uh-huh.
FRIDAY: Red threes count a hundred points each...if you get a black three, you can freeze the deck.
ROMERO: Oh, I see...
FRIDAY: I shouldn't say deck, in this game they call it the "pack."
ROMERO: Pack? What's a pack?
FRIDAY: Well, it's the discard pile...same as in gin...
ROMERO: You get a red three you can freeze it.
FRIDAY: No, that's a black three.
ROMERO: Well, what happens when you freeze it?
FRIDAY: Nobody can pick it up.
ROMERO: Oh, I see...
FRIDAY: All right...let's deal out a dummy hand here...(SFX: dealing cards) Fine game, Gannon...sure you won't change your mind?
ROMERO: He don't wanna play, Joe...
FRIDAY: All right, in two-handed, you deal out fifteen cards, see...
ROMERO: How many can play?
FRIDAY: As many as six, I think...I've only played up to four...
ROMERO: You play partners with four?
FRIDAY: Yeah, that's right...okay, count your cards...I think that's fifteen...
ROMERO (to himself) ...thirteen, fourteen, fifteen...right...now...now what do I do?
FRIDAY: Well, I guess you better lay your hand open, that'll be the easiest way to show you...
ROMERO: Okay...
FRIDAY: Spread 'em all out over there...well...you don't have a great hand there...you got a couple of black threes, you can use those...
ROMERO: Yeah, that's fine...they count a hundred apiece...
FRIDAY: No, no, no...those are red threes...black threes don't count anything...
ROMERO: Oh, red threes...
FRIDAY: That's right...do you remember what black threes are for?
ROMERO: You can use them to freeze the pot.
FRIDAY: Pack...that's right.
ROMERO (correcting himself) Pack...well, you know what I mean...
FRIDAY: All right, now...look, you see, I've got a joker here...jokers are wild...do you remember how much they count...?
ROMERO: They're wild...a hundred points...
FRIDAY: No, red threes are worth a hundred...jokers count fifty...
ROMERO: You don't explain it very good...I don't understand...
FRIDAY: Well, how simple can it be? Gannon's not even playing...you get it, don't you, Gannon...?
ROMERO: Okay, red threes count a hundred...jokers count fifty, black threes you can...you can freeze the pot...uh, pack...
FRIDAY: Good...now hold onto that, will ya? Now black threes can freeze the pack...but that's not the only card that can do it...
ROMERO: No?
FRIDAY: No...deuces can do the same thing...but you see, the only difference is if you a deuce--which is also wild--you have to have a natural pair in order to pick up the pack. Now with a black three, it's only good till...
GANNON (shouting) I knew it! I knew it wouldn't work! It was sour right from the start...Vickers killed the cop...I'm not in it...I'm droppin' out, I'm takin' no raps...
FRIDAY (interrupting) Ben, call the stenographer...
ROMERO (SFX: getting up from chair) Right, Joe...

Reading the dialogue, it sounds like an incredibly mundane exchange--and it is. But listening to it, you can't help but laugh because it sounds so real...plus you're on the edge of your seat with suspense, wondering what it's building up to.

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