When I was growing up, part of my lifelong devotion to comedy—in film, television, and OTR—was my obsession in seeing if I could make people laugh just like my comedic idols. I was pretty young at the time, and I remember telling a joke to my parents. When I didn’t get the response I anticipated, I started laughing in an effort to drown out the accompaniment of chirping crickets.
My Dad frowned at me. “You’re some comedian, laughing at your own jokes.”
I thought about this for a minute. “Red Skelton’s a comedian who laughs at his own jokes,” I argued.
“He does not.”
A few weeks later, Skelton was doing a PBS special and sure enough, he would laugh along with the audience. Grinning, I wasted no time in pointing this out to my father.
Dad let that register for a minute, then replied: “Yeah, but you’re no Red Skelton.”
I'll come clean and admit that I’m a huge Skelton fan. What’s odd about this is: I can’t quite figure out why. His humor is completely devoid of any kind of sophistication, his jokes are straight out of Joe Miller, and he’s corny and lowbrow to the extreme.
But when I listen to his old-time radio broadcasts, I laugh like a hyena. I think it’s because Skelton was essentially a clown (a TV ad selling Skelton’s old shows on DVD has Jerry Lewis touting him as “the clown master”); a comic with such an irresistibly goofy nature you just can’t help but guffaw at his antics. One of my favorite Skelton quotes goes: “I know I’m nuts—but as long as I make ‘em laugh they’re not gonna lock me up.”
Skelton, a Vincennes , Indiana Kansas August 12, 1937 . He revisited Vallee's show for a return engagement two weeks later, and then a third time in November of that year—but whatever lightning that had worked so well for Bergen
In 1938, Edna (who had taken on the responsibility of Red’s business manager/head writer, and would remain so for many years even after their divorce in 1943) created a hilarious sketch in which Skelton demonstrated the various ways people would dunk doughnuts. Although devouring a dozen doughnuts for each appearance (doing three shows a day) soon packed on thirty-five pounds to his frame, Red had hit the big time; he was hired by RKO to do the sketch in their film adaptation of Having Wonderful Time (1938). Soon after, he began his first headlining role on network radio with Avalon Time, debuting over NBC on January 7, 1939 . The comedy-variety show, which also featured Edna, country singer Red Foley, and Marlin Hurt (who would later become famous as “Beulah” on Fibber McGee & Molly) was a slight but amusing series that lasted about a year (many of these broadcasts are in circulation), and provided fans the opportunity to hear a younger, embryonic version of the later Skelton.
The Raleigh Cigarette Program Starring Red Skelton premiered over NBC on October 7, 1941 —and it remains today the radio show for which Red is best remembered. On this series, Red began impersonating his gallery of zany characters: Junior, Clem Kadiddlehopper, Deadeye, Willie Lump-Lump, and many, many others. Joining him on the show were talented African-American comic Wonderful Smith, a young Ozzie Nelson, and Ozzie’s wife—billed as Harriet Hilliard at that time. Ozzie’s band provided music for the Skelton show, and Hilliard—the female vocalist of Oz’s tuneful congregation—played many of the female roles opposite Red (she was “Mummy” to Skelton’s “Junior,” “Daisy June” to his “Clem Kadiddlehopper,” etc.). The show soon skyrocketed to the top of the ratings, and frequently challenged The Bob Hope Show and Fibber McGee & Molly for the top spot among comedy programs.
The April 25, 1944 broadcast that I listened to last night is prime Skelton; and I enjoyed it particularly for the participation of Ozzie & Harriet, who warble a fine version of “Milkman, Keep Those Bottles Quiet.” (Many of the 1941-44 Skelton programs featuring the Nelsons were unavailable to collectors for many years until Radio Spirits released a collection with programs provided by the Skelton estate.) The program also has famed Jack Benny player Frank Nelson as the show’s announcer (“Does your cigarette taste different lately?”) The first segment of the show, tagged “People in Our American Way of Life,” would feature Red interviewing a typical John Q. Public with an occupation of interest; in this show, he chats with—and plays straight-man to—circus barker Norman Carroll:
RED: How are you there, Mr. Carroll?
CARROLL: How are you, Red…
RED: I’m fine…tell me, Norman
CARROLL: Just like a portable, small town…
RED: Well…aren’t the neighbors a little freakish?
CARROLL: Aren’t neighbors generally?
With the introduction of Carroll, the theme of the show—“Under the Big Top”—is established, and in the first sketch Red plays one of his lesser-known characters, Bolivar Shagnasty. I’ve noticed that Shagnasty—a wisecracking Brooklynese type—got quite a workout in the prewar Skelton broadcasts; later on, especially after Skelton jumped ship to CBS (in 1949), he wasn’t heard from much, dwarfed by more popular characters like Deadeye and Cauliflower McPugg. Here, Bolivar is a barker himself, who finds himself accosted by a woman (played by the delightful Bea Benaderet) seeking circus employment:
WANDA: Hello, I wanna see the boss…
BOLIVAR: Well, what do I look like?
WANDA: Someone who’s AWOL from the sideshow…listen, I wanna a job…
BOLIVAR: Look, lady, I’m sorry…we don’t need no stake drivers…
WANDA: I’m a performer!
BOLIVAR: Oh, a performer, huh…and your forte?
WANDA: No, I’m only thirty-one…
BOLIVAR: I mean, what’s your speciality?
WANDA: Oh! I do a jitterbug dance with an elephant.
BOLIVAR: A jitterbug dance with an elephant?
WANDA: Yeah…and with G.I. shoes on…
BOLIVAR: Say, that’s quite a novelty…an elephant and a monkey doin’ a jitterbug dance together…where’s your elephant?
WANDA: Oh, I don’t have an elephant…I just use my imagination…
BOLIVAR: Well, Sister…you’re gonna find that a real elephant is just four tons heavier than your imagination…
WANDA: Ain’t you got none with the circus?
BOLIVAR: Oh, sure…none that’s been out dancin’ lately, though…
Clem Kadiddlehopper, one of Red’s most popular and endearing characters, is the star attraction of the next sketch—Clem was a bucolic buffoon, who made Edgar Bergen’s Mortimer Snerd look like a Rhodes scholar. His most memorable catchphrase was usually uttered after his girlfriend Daisy June (played by Harriet Hilliard) arrived on the scene (“We-e-e-e-l-l-l-l Da-a-a-a-a-aisy Ju-u-u-u-u-une!”) Daisy June has her doubts about Clem wanting to become the new lion tamer for the circus currently in town:
DAISY: Clem…you ain’t going in no cage with the lion, ‘er ya? Are ya that brave?
CLEM: Brave, she asks…you see this medal? That one’s for rescuin’ a woman from a burning building…and this one’s for disarmin’ a dangerous criminal…and this one over here…
DAISY: What’s this one fer?
CLEM: I don’t know…the feller at the pawnshop couldn’t explain that one…
Clem, being the idiot he is (and fiercely proud of it), is convinced by the circus manager to have a go:
MANAGER: Come on now, get in with the lion….
(SFX: cage opening)
CLEM: Well, put me down, will ya? I’ll get in myself…
MANAGER: Go ahead, go ahead…you don’t want your girl to think you’re yellow…?
CLEM: Well, don’t push me, will ya?!!! (SFX: cage closing, lion roar) (to audience) Now, if Mr. Raleigh is listening in, he’ll swear that lion says that your cigarette tastes different lately…well, how are you there, Big Boy? (SFX: lion roar) You gonna be friends with me, Leo? (SFX: lion roar) I do hope he said yes…boy, I wish I was Johnny Weissmuller right now…
DAISY: Why? ‘Cause he can handle wild beasts?
CLEM: No…because he’s at home…
MANAGER: Now, Clem, here’s the act you do…
CLEM: Yeah?
MANAGER: First, you stick your head in the lion’s mouth…
CLEM: Mm-hmm…
MANAGER: Then, for an encore, he sticks his head in your mouth…
CLEM: What makes you think there’s gonna be an encore?
The last sketch features one of Red’s funniest characters, Junior—“the mean widdle kid”. Charlie McCarthy had nothing on this child—McCarthy could be a wisenheimer, but Junior was a genuine holy terror. What McCarthy only talked about (usually while getting a lecture from Bergen), Junior actually executed. Junior has talked his mother into taking him to the circus, and mother and child are busy walking around, checking out the sights:
MUMMY: Oh, look over there, Junior…Junior, where are you?
JUNIOR: Here I is…sittin’ here with a gorilla!
MUMMY: Junior! Get out of there, do you want the gorilla to bite you and get sick? You know you’re not supposed to be in there…
JUNIOR: I know! I told him that as he pulled me through the bars!
Junior’s modus operandi on the show was generally to leave a path of complete mayhem and destruction in every direction he went. His declaration of “If I dood it—I dets a whippin’…I dood it!” became a popular national catchphrase (and also the title of a 1943 MGM musical). Junior’s mummy makes the mistake of leaving Junior unattended, and the little darlin’ decides to see what’s going on at the monkey cage:
WORKER: I’m going to go get some water…
JUNIOR: You is?
WORKER: You won’t open that cage door, will you?
JUNIOR (evil laugh): Awww…noooo, noooo…
WORKER: Now, I knew you wouldn’t…because you’re a good little boy…
JUNIOR (to audience) Trusting old soul, ain’t he? Oh, the coast is clear…now I’m going to crawl in the cage with the widdle monkeys (SFX: cage opening, closing) Well, hello, neighbors! How you guys stand in the draft, huh? Oh, here comes Mummy…here comes Mummy…
MUMMY: Good heavens…I hate to admit it, but there’s a monkey in there that looks just like Junior…
JUNIOR (hamming it up): Please, peanuts…please, peanuts!
MUMMY: Well, I’ll feed you little fellows right away, you…JUNIOR!!!
JUNIOR: Don’t yell! You scared me, too!
MUMMY: Oh! You get out of that cage!
(SFX: cage opening)
JUNIOR: Okay…
(SFX: cage closing)
MUMMY: My goodness! Now give me your hand…you won’t get away from me anymore...(SFX: walking) My goodness, Junior…your hands are getting hairy…
JUNIOR: Hey, Mummy! You look awfully silly walking alone with that monkey there!
Skelton temporarily closed up shop on June 6, 1944 ; he had been drafted in March of that same year and spent 18 months out of the public eye in the military, finally returning to NBC Radio on December 4, 1945 . By that time, Ozzie & Harriet had moved on to their own program, The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet, and actress GeGe Pearson replaced Harriet in the female parts, including a new girlfriend for Clem Kadiddlehopper in the guise of Sarah Dew. Pearson was then replaced by veteran radio actress Lurene Tuttle; other welcome additions to the Skelton program were announcer Rod O’Connor, who was an all-purpose foil to most of Red’s characters; and the falling-down funny Verna Felton, who provided king-size laughs in her clashes with “the mean widdle kid” as Junior’s “Nammaw.”
Leonard Maltin once marveled at Skelton’s success because his career seemed to violate so many rules: for example, he was a comedian whose jokes were rurally-oriented at a time when radio humor was becoming slicker and more urban-based. He also—shades of Edgar Bergen—achieved more success on radio than television; indeed much of the humor that he began performing on the new medium (he had made the leap to the tube in 1951) was firmly pantomime in nature. For me, Skelton’s radio shows are far superior to his televised offerings; the wonderful gallery of grotesques he created seem to play better on radio, where it’s much easier for my imagination to do all the work.
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