By the time Rocky Fortune, a comedic adventure series starring singer-actor Frank Sinatra, debuted over NBC on October 6, 1953 the career of Ol’ Blue Eyes had pretty much hit rock bottom. Born in Hoboken , NJ
But by 1950, that was just mist in the memory. The bobby-sox craze had ended, and Sinatra’s public image had become tarnished by an endless parade of wives, fights and much-too-cozy relationships with gangsters. His recent films (like Double Dynamite and Meet Danny Wilson) were doing tepid box-office, and it wasn’t until a plum supporting role in From Here to Eternity (1953) that he would find his career rejuvenated.
In the meantime—well, a man’s gotta eat. Frank essayed on radio the role of one Rocky Fortune, the protagonist of a self-titled series about a jack-of-all-trades who often found himself in various misadventures while employed. If he accepted a job at a museum, he would discover a body in a sarcophagus; a truck-driving job would necessitate him hauling nitro-glycerin over bumpy roads (shades of The Wages of Fear).
I listened to two episodes of this program last night while carrying out my menial duties at work; the first broadcast, dated February 23, 1954, is entitled “The Organ Grinder.” Rocky receives a call from a pal who informs him that a former wrestler nicknamed “The Grinder” is out for revenge, because Rocky and friend provided the crucial testimony that sent the wrestler to jail, as Fortune relates to a friend on the force, Hamilton Finger:
ROCKY: I just had a call from Midge Moore
FINGER: So? Who’s Midge Moore?
ROCKY: You remember about five years ago when there was an ex-wrestler named Carl The Grinder?
FINGER: Sure…you had something to do with sendin’ him up, didn’t ya?
ROCKY: Yeah…Midge Moore and me was comin’ home from a bar one night when we see this ape beatin’ up an old peddler, tryin’ to rob him…we yell for the cops and we testified against him at the trial…
FINGER: Wasn’t that a fourth offense?
ROCKY: Yeah, he went up for the rest of his natural…only before he went, he swore he was gonna kill three guys…Midge Moore, me, and Harry Bowman…
FINGER: Yeah, that’s right…Bowman was the assistant D.A. who sent him up…he went rotten, didn’t he?
ROCKY: Like a dead lox in a steam bath…he’s in charge of political corruption in the Fourth Ward…
FINGER: So what about this call from Midge Moore?
ROCKY: He says The Grinder called him…
FINGER: You don’t say…where from?
ROCKY: Not from the state university…
FINGER: Oh, that’s a big help…
ROCKY: You’re playin’ coy, Sarge…
FINGER: Well, yeah…as a matter of fact I am…The Grinder busted out this mornin’…we just got an APB on it a couple of minutes ago…
ROCKY: Holy Moses…
FINGER: You don’t look so good, Rock…
ROCKY: You should see me in my other suit…the one they’re gonna bury me in after Carl the Grinder gets through with me…
Rocky decides he needs to be off like a prom dress—but he stops by Midge’s place first to check on his friend; he finds him quite dead, courtesy of a broken neck supplied by “The Grinder.” On his way out, he runs into a woman named Mary—who just so happens to be Mrs. Grinder—and she warns him that Carl is looking for him; Rocky then instructs her to seek protection from the police. Arriving at his apartment, Rocky is stunned to discover a small gathering throwing a party inside—and his attempt to make a break for it is stopped by a muscular goon named Moose. Moose is working for Fourth Ward councilman Harry Bowman, who tells Fortune that the party is being held in his honor:
ROCKY: Listen, Harry…I appreciate your publicity gag but you’ll have to find another schnook…this boy’s leavin’ town and if you ain’t heard, I’d advise you to do the same thing…
HARRY: Why?
ROCKY: Carl the Grinder busted out of Dannemora Prison…he’s got a list with three names: Midge, me and you—in that order…and if you don’t think he means business, try lookin’ Midge Moore in the face…you’ll hafta stand behind him ‘cause that’s the way his head faces now…so call off the celebration and let me get my suitcase…
HARRY: Just a minute…
ROCKY: Yeah?
HARRY: You ain’t goin’ anyplace, my friend…
ROCKY: I just told you…
HARRY: You don’t have to tell me…I got a phone call from The Grinder this morning…
ROCKY: Then what’s all this jazz about? Let’s get under a rock!
HARRY: Me, maybe…but not you…
ROCKY: Listen, you moron…this bum’s loaded for bear and he don’t…hey…I think I’m beginning to get the picture…
HARRY: Yeah…smart boy…
ROCKY: I’ve been duck hunting…
HARRY: Good…then you know it takes a decoy to catch a live duck…Carl the Grinder is the live duck…
ROCKY: …and I’m the decoy…
MOOSE: He’s clever…
ROCKY: Only one thing…
HARRY: Yeah?
ROCKY: To hunt ducks, you use a wooden decoy…
HARRY: Oh, we’re out of wood…so we’re using you…
ROCKY: What happens if I get killed?
HARRY: Tough.
ROCKY: What happens if I don’t?
HARRY: I figure it this way, Rock old man…you’re next on the list…just want to make sure The Grinder finds you so I’m givin’ ya a little publicity…if he shows and kills you, my boys take care of him…in the meantime, I’m leavin’ town for a short spell…take care of him, Moose…see that he enjoys the party…so long, mallard…
Moose informs Rocky that his party is moving across town to the local firehouse for a dinner in his honor; but as the henchman is escorting him to a waiting car, he is nearly shot and killed by a photographer who just might be The Grinder. At the banquet, Rocky gives Moose the slip by duping the goon into thinking his food has been poisoned; he attempts to beat a hasty retreat but is being followed by Ivan—the Russian chauffeur that was hired to drive Rocky and crew to the firehouse. Rocky suspects the chauffeur may be The Grinder, and as Ivan chases after him, Rocky hides in one of the rooms in the firehouse where a tall fireman with a handlebar moustache assists our hero by dispatching Ivan to the happy hunting grounds:
FIREMAN: I had to hit your friend…
ROCKY: You didn’t hit him, John…you killed him…
FIREMAN: No kiddin’…I must have used the pointed end of the axe…
ROCKY: Let’s pull off that phony beard and get a look at him…
FIREMAN: Yeah…I’d like to see what Carl the Grinder looks like myself…
(SFX: tearing sounds)
ROCKY: One…two…(he stops)
FIREMAN: What’s wrong, pal?
ROCKY: Hey, this ain’t Carl the Grinder…
FIREMAN: Who is it?
ROCKY: Harry Bowman!
FIREMAN: The guy that used to be the assistant D.A.?
ROCKY: Yeah, he was usin’ me for a clay pigeon…I guess he wanted to hang on and see what happens so he put on a fake beard and a phony accent…
FIREMAN: That’s the guy that sent The Grinder up the river, ain’t it?
ROCKY: That’s the guy…now The Grinder’s only got one to go…me…
FIREMAN: You, huh?
ROCKY: Yeah…it’s too bad you cheated him out of Bowman…
FIREMAN: Oh, I didn’t cheat him, pal…I just changed the battin’ order a little…
ROCKY: Yeah, I guess you put another (realization sets in) hey…
FIREMAN: Yeah, pal?
ROCKY: Who…who are you?
FIREMAN: Let me take off the handlebars, pal (SFX: tearing) there ya are…
ROCKY: The Grinder!
GRINDER: Yeah, the Grinder! I figured since you was gonna be at the firehouse, I’d…I’d make like a fireman! I didn’t think it was gonna be this easy…
ROCKY: I didn’t think it was gonna be this hard...
GRINDER: Move back…
ROCKY: A pleasure…
GRINDER: I’m gonna do this with my bare hands, Fortune…the way I did Midge Moore!
ROCKY: You’re gonna have to catch me…
(SFX: running)
GRINDER: Shall we dance? You’re trapped, Rocky…like a rat in a corner!
(SFX: more running)
ROCKY: You wouldn’t like to sit this one out, would ya?
GRINDER: Uh uh…
ROCKY: Well, I guess there’s nothing much left to do but throw my Sunday punch (SFX: punch, pause) Must be Monday…nothin’ happened…
Just as The Grinder is about to twist Rocky’s head and neck like a childproof aspirin bottle cap, Finger arrives just in time to kill The Grinder—having been tipped off to Rocky’s plight by Mary, The Grinder’s better half.
Rocky Fortune’s scripts were penned by Ernest Kinoy and George Lefferts, two members of NBC’s writing staff who are probably better known today in OTR circles for writing/adapting many of the scripts for the network’s groundbreaking science-fiction series Dimension X (1950-51) and its sister series, X Minus One (1955-58). While I disagree with radio historian John Dunning’s analysis that the show was “undistinguished” (the series is fairly entertaining, and the writing nicely captures Sinatra’s “ring-a-ding-ding” dialogue style), I have no quibble with his assertion that Frank sounded as if he was phoning it in. (Chairman of the Bored, if you will.)
The second broadcast, “Rocket Racket” (3/23/54 ), is a goofy outing with Rocky being recruited as a guinea pig for an experimental rocket launch—which in actuality is an attempt by two evildoers to bilk an oil millionaire out of $5 million. (Lefferts—who wrote both “Organ Grinder” and this episode—manages to sneak in a sly reference to Dimension X.) The week after this episode, Sinatra made his final appearance as Rocky Fortune—he was now the recipient of a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role as Maggio in From Here to Eternity, and he had no place else to go but up.
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