The Oversight Before Christmas

The Chase and Sanborn Hour, the program that served as the launching pad for Edgar Bergen & Charlie McCarthy’s fame, was an hour-long extravaganza that debuted over NBC on May 9, 1937 and featured quite a few stars in addition to the soon-to-be-famous ventriloquist and his dummy. Diverse performers like W.C. Fields, Dorothy Lamour, Nelson Eddy, The Canovas (Judy, Zeke and Annie), and the Stroud Twins (Clarence and Claude) all were regulars at one time from 1937-40. But one of the most important featured players was Don Ameche, who served as an emcee/singer/straight man for the Chase & Sanborn proceedings. Ameche left the show sometime around 1940 when his contract was up, but at that time he was doing pretty well for himself by establishing a career in the movies—appearing in such big box-office hits as Alexander’s Ragtime Band and The Story of Alexander Graham Bell (a picture that gave birth to a slew of “Don Ameche invented the telephone” jokes).

Ameche made many return appearances to The Charlie McCarthy Show—sometimes as a guest star, other times as announcer/regular performer. Edgar Bergen was a great fan of Ameche’s talents, remarking that he was one of the cleverest ad-libbers in radio. It was on Bergen’s program that Don and Francis Langford (also Marsha Hunt) reportedly introduced the characters of John and Blanche Bickerson, a married couple who took martial arguments to dizzying heights. Ameche has quite a showcase in this Christmas AFRS (Armed Forces Radio Service) rebroadcast, originally heard over NBC on December 24, 1944:

CHARLIE: Hello, folks! This is Charlie McCarthy wishing you all a Merry Christmas…and a happy Bergen…

DON: Merry Christmas, Charlie!

CHARLIE: Well…hello, Mr. Ameche!

DON: Well, I suppose you’ve written to Santa Claus, huh?

CHARLIE: Yes, I wrote to him…just to play safe, I sent a carbon copy to Bergen (chuckles)…I’m no fool, you know…

DON: I suppose you, uh, hinted at what you wanted…

CHARLIE: Brother, I hinted for eight pages, I hinted…but every year Bergen turns a deaf purse…

DON: Oh well, Charlie…why don’t you be a little more subtle?

CHARLIE: Well, that don’t work, either…

DON: No?

CHARLIE: Last year I was subtle…I hinted for something with two wheels and a handlebar…

DON: And what did you get?

CHARLIE: A lawnmower!

Female vocalist Joan Merrill performs Cole Porter’s “Don’t Fence Me In,” and then Charlie and Don engage in a bit more banter:

DON: And now, ladies and gentlemen…a few words from your Yule log, Charlie McCarthy…

CHARLIE (chuckles): Oh, thank you, Don…my pal, my friend…you know—you’re the nicest Don Ameche I know…

DON: Oh…

CHARLIE: Yes, you are…

DON: …when you talk like that I know you want something…what is it, Charlie?

CHARLIE: Well, it just so happens you’re right this time…I do need help…you see, Bergen said that if I would recited “The Night Before Christmas” this evening, he’d give me a special Christmas present…

DON: Well, that’s fine…have you memorized it?

CHARLIE: Well, part of it…that’s all…

DON: Which part?

CHARLIE: Um…just the title…

DON: Hmm…and what do you want me to do?

CHARLIE: Well, make Bergen forget about the poem—but not about the present…

DON: Well, now…let me see…wait a minute, wait a minute! I’ve got it! Why don’t you say that after you learned it a blow on the head made you forget it?

CHARLIE: Well…uh…that’s good, that’s good! That’s good!

DON: And I’ll be glad to cooperate…with a baseball bat…

Put on the spot, Charlie decides to “wing it” when Edgar asks him to recite the poem:

CHARLIE (clearing throat) “Listen, my children, and you shall hear…of a midnight ride of Santa Revere…”

EDGAR: No, no…

CHARLIE: Don’t tell me I’m wrong…

EDGAR: Yes, you’re a little confused…

CHARLIE: Well, I’m a bundle of nerves…

EDGAR: Yes, I know…now you start over again…

CHARLIE: “Under the spreading Christmas tree…a village Santa stands…”

EDGAR: No, no, no…perhaps if I just help you with a little start…

CHARLIE: That would be good…

EDGAR: Yes…”’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house…”

CHARLIE: Egad, Bergen…you took the words right out of my mouth…and believe me, it felt good to get rid of them, too!

EDGAR: Now what’s the next line?

CHARLIE: Uh…hmm?

EDGAR: I say, what’s the next line?

CHARLIE: The next line…

EDGAR: Yes…

CHARLIE: Well, there’s…uh…there’s all through the house…all through the house…uh…let’s see (to audience)…quiet, please (pause, to audience)…what’s the next line, fellas?

EDGAR: No, no, no…”Not a”—do you remember what it is? “Not a creature was stirring…not even…”

CHARLIE: A louse…

(snip)

EDGAR: “The stockings were hung”…where?

CHARLIE: On a nail…?

EDGAR: No, no…”the stockings were hung by the chimney with care…in hopes…”

CHARLIE: “In hopes…”

EDGAR: “In hopes…”

CHARLIE: “In hopes…that the laundry man soon would be there…”

EDGAR: No, no, no…”In hopes that Saint”—Saint who?

CHARLIE: Saint Vitus?

EDGAR: No…

CHARLIE: Saint Bernard?

EDGAR: No, no…

CHARLIE: Saint Paul?

EDGAR: No, no…

CHARLIE: Minneapolis!

Charlie admits defeat, and confesses to Edgar that he didn’t learn the poem, but Edgar, in the spirit of Christmas, rewards Charlie for his honesty—by giving him a copy of the famous poem, written by Clement C. Moore. Bergen later successfully revived this routine on a December 25, 1955 edition of The New Edgar Bergen Hour—with his then nine-year-old daughter Candy (Candice) helping Charlie over the rough spots.

In his many appearances on The Charlie McCarthy Show, Don Ameche also portrayed a character named Gazola—whose occupation had a tendency to vary from week to week. In this show, Gazola is a singing teacher hired by Edgar to instruct Charlie in the fine details about music…

EDGAR: The point I’m trying to make, Charlie…is that to fully enjoy the best in music requires training…and that’s why I’ve arranged for you to take lessons from a famous singing teacher…

CHARLIE: Well now, that’s nice of you, Bergen…I didn’t know you knew so much about music…

EDGAR: Well, I…I appreciate classical music…although I…I don’t think you could call me a longhair…

CHARLIE: No, no…no one could call you that, Bergen…

DON: Hallo, hallo, hallo and…excuse-a, please…Senor Bourbon…

EDGAR: Bergen, yes…hello, Professor…

CHARLIE: Who is this, Bergen?

DON: I am Donato Pizzicato Ameche Victrola Gazola…the famous-a singer…

(snip)

DON: When-a the music, she comes out loud…it’s-a fortissimo…if it comes out-a soft, it’s pianissimo…then we got-a high key and-a low key…and sometimes you got-a no key…

CHARLIE: In that case, you climb in the window…

DON: Ho, ho…oh, it’s-a cute…

EDGAR: Professor Gazola, suppose we get on with the lesson, if you don’t mind…

DON: Okay, Mr. Bon Bon…

EDGAR: Bergen…

DON: What?

EDGAR: Bergen…

DON: Now, Charlie…you sing-a after me (sings) “Mi mi mi…”

CHARLIE (sings) “You you you…”

DON: Perfect! Absolute-a perfect! Now we-a try another one (sings) “Do re mi”…speaking of do-re-mi, that’s-a reminds me…when do I get-a my pay?

EDGAR: Well…

CHARLIE: I don’t blame you for being worried…

Wrapping up the program are the show’s special guests—the Chorus of 1,000 Voices from the Great Lakes Naval Station, who sing a medley of “O Come All Ye Faithful,” “Deck the Halls,” and “Silent Night.” Don Ameche concludes the program with “The American Prayer.”