“Ah, Liz-girl…George-boy…”

Allow me to briefly step into this blog’s confessional and present an opinion that I’m sure will border on utter sacrilege…

…I am not a big fan of I Love Lucy. I know, it’s blasphemy.

I don’t dislike the show, you understand—it just doesn’t rank very high on my list of all-time favorite situation comedies. And it’s not that I don’t find it funny; quite the contrary, many of television’s funny moments have been culled from Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz’s groundbreaking series—and some episodes (the Vitameatavegamin commercial, the one where Lucy meets William Holden, the Harpo Marx mirror bit, etc.) have been known to have me rolling off the couch in wet-your-pants hysterics.

It’s just that I Love Lucy—as essential and important as it is to the history of television comedy—is often overrated by its admirers and fans. First off, many of the classic “moments” are precisely that—clips from episodes in which Lucy is doing something incredibly funny and zany. The entire episode might be a real stinkeroo, but there’s at least one bit in it you can recommend that someone watch.

It’s also overrated, revered more for its status as a senior statesmen (or in Lucy’s case, stateswoman) for comedy—and it upsets me that cable channels who supposedly present classic television (TV Land, I’m talking to you!) often run it ad nauseam and crowd out lesser-viewed shows. Would it be asking too much to give Lucy a little R&R and schedule something else, say, like Our Miss Brooks or The Phil Silvers Show?

Okay, enough of me ranting. I will say, however, that I do like Lucy’s radio sitcom, My Favorite Husband—a show that essentially served as blueprint to the later I Love Lucy. As a matter of fact, the two broadcasts that I listened to last night at work—parts one and two of “Women’s Rights,” broadcast over CBS Radio on March 3 and March 10, 1950—later provided the inspiration for the I Love Lucy episode “Job Switching.” Now, normally I prefer the aural Lucy to the visual one, because watching her “antics” can sometimes become a little tiresome. But in this case, the TV show is far superior to its radio counterpart; it tells the story in only one half-hour, and it has that falling-down funny sequence where Lucy and Ethel (Vivian Vance) are wrapping chocolates on the conveyor belt at the candy factory. The two radio broadcasts do have their moments, but let’s face it—it’s hard to top that visual gem. As the first program opens, the Coopers (Lucy, Richard Denning) and the Atterburys (Gale Gordon, Bea Benaderet) are discussing the pending Equal Rights Amendment legislation before Congress:

GEORGE: Liz is off on a kick about women’s rights…I suppose you’ve been getting it, too, Mr. Atterbury…
RUDOLPH (clearing his throat): Well, let’s go eat, we’re late…
IRIS: Women’s rights?
LIZ: Sure, Iris…you know, that amendment they’re putting through Congress…we’re going to be free, Iris…free!
IRIS: We are…?
LIZ: You must have read about it…it’s been in the news for weeks…
RUDOLPH: Let’s go eat…we’re late…
IRIS: Oh, that explains it…for the last month, somebody’s been cutting things out of our paper…
LIZ (reproachfully): Why, Mr. Atterbury…
RUDOLPH: Well…let’s go eat (voice cracking) we’re late…
IRIS: Rudolph…
RUDOLPH: …just trying to keep you from getting any silly ideas, lotus bud…
IRIS: Tell me more about this, Liz…
LIZ: Well, it means new freedom for women, Iris…we’re going to be equal to men…we’ll be able to do things we’ve never been able to do before…
IRIS: Hooray! (pause) Like what?
GEORGE: Oh, you stick with Liz and you can be a pin girl at the bowling alley…
RUDOLPH: Or you can work in a blast furnace…
LIZ: All right, fellas…
RUDOLPH: …I even heard on the radio that women will be allowed to drive on the same side of the street as men…
LIZ: Don’t pay any attention to them, Iris…from now on, women aren’t going to be just women anymore…we’re going to be people!
IRIS: Hooray!
LIZ: Once the House of Representatives passes this bill, there will no longer be any difference between men and women (pause) hey—that doesn’t sound right, does it?

Liz and Iris demand to be treated like equals, so in one of those painful “let’s teach those two a lesson” scenarios, George and Rudolph inform their wives that they have to pay for their own dinner. Since the women haven’t a dime between them, they end up having to wash the dishes to settle the debt, but then Liz turns the tables on George and calls him at home, using the classic husband “I’m working late” excuse while Iris simulates a “wild party” in the background. When they finally get home, they challenge the men to stay home and do the housework (George and Rudolph assure them it will be a piece of cake, forgetting that tomorrow is the maid’s day off) while they go out and get jobs. So in the second episode—let the shenanigans commence:

IRIS: …help wanted…beauty operator…accountant…dental technician…registered nurse…
LIZ: How do you like that? Apparently you can’t get a job unless you know how to do something!
IRIS: It’s just like you said, Liz—women don’t have equal rights…
LIZ: Not even with other women…
IRIS: Oh, here’s one…”We need women…”
LIZ: Oh, we can do that…
IRIS: There’s more…
LIZ: Oh…
IRIS: “We need women…no experience necessary…must be attractive and…” Uh-oh…”under twenty-five…”
LIZ: Oh…that lets you out, doesn’t it?
IRIS: Lets me out? What about you?
LIZ: Oh, I wouldn’t take the job without you, Iris…
IRIS: Elizabeth Cooper, are you trying to tell me that you’re under twenty-five? Me, who’s known you since the first year you were twenty-eight?

This show starts to pick up a little steam when Liz and Iris decide to look for work at an employment agency—managed by the king of radio snark and condescension, Frank Nelson:

MANAGER: Ah, good morning ladies—welcome to the Sheridan Falls Employment Agency…have a chair…you wish to hire someone?
LIZ: Uh, no…we’re looking for a job…
MANAGER (barely concealing his disappointment): Oh…go over there and fill out a form…
LIZ: Boy…it sure got cold in here all of a sudden…uh, what kind of jobs do you have open?
MANAGER: Uh…what do you do?
LIZ (after a pause): What kind of jobs do you have open?
MANAGER: What do you do?
LIZ (another pause): What kind of jobs do you have open?
MANAGER: You go first this time…
LIZ: All right…what do you do?
MANAGER: What kind of jobs do you…no!!!
IRIS: The only thing we ask is that we work together…
MANAGER: All right, but tell me what you do…if you’re stenographers, maybe I can find someone with a big lap and you can each sit on one knee…
LIZ: Well, um…
IRIS: What kind of jobs do you have open?
LIZ: Gee, I wish I’d said that…
MANAGER: Yeesh…well, let’s try to get some facts down…what are your names?
IRIS (low, to Liz): Don’t give your real name, Liz…
MANAGER: What’s your name?
LIZ: Uh…um…
MANAGER: Don’t you know your own name?
LIZ: I’ll get it, I know it as well as I know my…oh no, that doesn’t make sense…um…uh…Bridget McGonigle…
MANAGER: Bridget Mc…how do you spell that?
LIZ: Uh…uh…M…uh…eh…M…O’Brien…my mother married again…
MANAGER: Uh-huh (to Iris) And what’s your name?
IRIS: McGonigle…
LIZ: Iris…
MANAGER: Iris McGonigle?
IRIS: Well…all right…
MANAGER: Don’t do me any favors…
LIZ: You see, she’s a half sister by my first mother’s second husband…

The women look through every job available, and find nothing that they are qualified for—but it really doesn’t matter, because their husbands aren’t exactly overwhelming anyone with their housekeeping skills; Rudolph, or “Mary Margaret McAtterbury” as he nicknames himself, manages to start a fire while ironing (he couldn’t find the ironing board, so he used the top of the piano instead). George and Rudolph call the employment agency for a housekeeper to clean up their prospective messes, and a battleaxe named Blanche (Elvia Allman, who played the candy factory supervisor when this episode was adapted for television) is sent to the scene, with her apprentice housekeepers in tow—and if you’ve guessed that they’re Liz and Iris, then you may be ready to move onto Advanced Sitcom Principles 201. Sure, both shows are dated as heck, but Nelson and Allman both make it fun, and the programs also contain the original Jell-O commercials (I love it at the beginning when Lucy calls out “Jell-O, everybody!”); one of which features announcer Bob Lemond interviewing Lucy playing a lady wrestler.