“…Jell-O tap…ioca pudding, yes sirree…”

After the Benny broadcasts, I decided to entertain myself with a couple of broadcasts from one of my favorite radio sitcoms (and I know I’m in the minority here), The Aldrich Family. I enjoyed these two shows more than my last visit, simply because the Henry Aldrich, Ezra Stone, appears in both episodes.

The first entry, broadcast November 11, 1948, begins with a Jell-O commercial featuring Meredith Willson and his “talking people.” Willson had worked for General Foods before, as George and Gracie’s bashful bandleader on Maxwell House Coffee Time from 1945-48. I’m not sure if Meredith was either given a pink slip or decided to leave on his own, but it’s a shame he ended up having to be a pitchman for the gelatin dessert, particularly because the “talking people” (a group of people talking in harmony, if that’s possible) are pretty doggone annoying. (I’m guessing the home audience thought so, too, because they didn’t stay on the show very long.) The beginning finds America’s favorite teenage dorks, Henry Aldrich (Stone) and Homer Brown (Jackie Kelk), paying Henry’s girlfriend Kathleen Anderson (Jean Gillespie) a social call:

HENRY: Ring the doorbell, Homer…
HOMER: Boy, Henry—if Kathleen’s father had banned me from their house for three weeks…I wouldn’t come running back on my hands and knees…
HENRY: Homer, Mr. Anderson had every right…
HOMER: He did?
HENRY: Why, sure…quiet, Homer—I hear someone coming…wipe your feet!
HOMER: Before we even know if we’re welcome?
(SFX: front door opens)
ANDERSON: Oh…good afternoon…
HENRY: Good afternoon, Mr. Anderson…
HOMER: Good afternoon, Mr. Anderson…uh…it’s a nice afternoon, isn’t it?
ANDERSON: It is?
HENRY: Yes, sir…it’s such a nice afternoon we thought…why not come over and pass the time of day with good ol’ Kathleen?
ANDERSON: I see…
HENRY: And her family!
ANDERSON: Well, you’re here, so…come in (SFX: front door closes, he calls upstairs) Kathleen! Henry is here…
KATHLEEN (from upstairs): He is? Well, my goodness—tell him I’ll be down in just a second…
ANDERSON: She’ll be down in just a second…
HENRY: Yes, sir…thank you, sir… (very uncomfortable pause) uhm…well…
HOMER: Well…it’s a nice afternoon…
HENRY: It’s…it’s good seeing you again, Mr. Anderson…
ANDERSON: Again? Oh, yes—it’s been nearly a week since you’ve been here, hasn’t it?
HENRY: Why, uh…I think it’s closer to three…
ANDERSON: You don’t say…
HENRY: Uh-huh…
ANDERSON: Time certainly passes quickly under favorable conditions…
HOMER (after a pause): Did I mention that it’s a very nice afternoon?

Henry was “banned” from the Anderson residence for breaking a lamp, and he’s anxious not to repeat the experience again:

HENRY: Homer, stop walking around…I told you to keep your eyes on your feet…
HOMER: I am, Henry…gee whiz, I know exactly where they are…which is the lamp you broke?
HENRY: The table lamp there…
HOMER: No kidding…gee, you can hardly tell it’s been damaged…
HENRY: Homer, before it ran into my elbows it was a floor lamp…

Homer picks up a toy belonging to Kathleen’s brother, and it falls apart in his hands—so the two of them manage to sneak it out of the house and attempt to repair it before Mr. Anderson finds out. Unbeknownst to Henry and Homer, however—the toy was already broken, but what follows is a hilarious series of shenanigans: Henry’s sister (Charita Bauer) sees the fixed toy on the table, and donates it to the local police’s toy drive, which finds Henry and Homer trying to get it back, etc. This episode wraps up with a very funny ending to boot.

The second broadcast, from May 5, 1949, is one of my favorites, in that it was the very first Aldrich Family episode I remember listening to (I think I have about four copies of this darn thing, including CD, cassette and vinyl record.). Homer gets trapped into getting his girlfriend Agnes a gift for the anniversary of their first date, and in turn, he ropes Henry into selecting the proper gift—Henry’s girlfriend, Kathleen, has spotted Henry at the jeweler’s glancing at rings and relays this information to Agnes, who jumps to conclusions faster than you can say "Coming, mother!" Before he knows it, he’s engaged to Agnes—let the wacky complications ensue!

HENRY: Why not look at it this way, Homer—engagements have their advantages, too…
HOMER: Yeah? Name one…
HENRY: Well, they…well, you…there must be some advantages…otherwise, why would so many people do it?
HOMER: Name one, just one!
HENRY: Well, for instance, when you’re engaged—you don’t have to spend so much money on the girl…
HOMER: Oh yeah? What about the engagement ring? That alone will keep me broke for the next two years…
HENRY: Sure, Homer, but…
HOMER: The funny part is…I never even thought of Agnes as something you’d get engaged to…

After weighing several options, including running away from home, Henry tells Homer he should just call Agnes and tell her the engagement is off…this, however, is easier said than done, as the lovable but spineless milquetoast is no match for his formidable girlfriend:

HENRY: Homer, why didn’t you tell her about being too young to know your own minds?
HOMER: Well, she sounded so positive about the whole thing…boy, I got the feeling maybe it was illegal or something to call it off…
HENRY: Gee whiz…maybe it is…you know what, Homer—maybe you just oughta stick it out…forever, it necessary…she’s bound to get tired of you sooner or later…
 

(snip) 

HOMER: Henry, why did you have to glance at rings in the first place?
HENRY: I didn’t know Kathleen was going to be snooping around…
HOMER: Kathleen…that’s the trouble with girls, they talk too much…next thing you know, it’ll be all over school…Henry!
HENRY: What?
HOMER: Mr. Bradley will throw me out of school!
HENRY: See? I told you there were advantages to being engaged!

Naturally, the two boys do everything they can to extricate Homer from this predicament (as a confirmed bachelor, I sympathize with the guy), finally enlisting the help of Mr. Aldrich (House Jameson) to provide much needed legal advice. (I noticed in the booklet accompanying this CD that Staats Cotsworth, a.k.a. Casey, Crime Photographer, plays Homer’s dad Will in this episode—if this is true, it sure doesn’t sound like him.) Again, it's an amusing episode that takes the listener back to a more innocent time, when life was a lot simpler and even the best-behaved of teenagers managed to find themselves in hot water every week.